New Zealanders view Australia with awe and fear because they know they are the small, vulnerable country in this partnership. They have the world’s largest non-English speaking immigrant population as a proportion of their total population – one in five New Zealanders was born overseas and spoke another first language.
With this knowledge, New Zealanders routinely joke about an impending invasion from their big Australian friends, who have never tried to invade us but probably could if they wanted to. So what would happen if Australia invaded New Zealand? Well, let’s take a look at the possibilities, shall we?
New Zealanders Fight Back
New Zealand is a small country, but the New Zealanders are fiercely independent. They have a long history of opposing more considerable powers, including the British Empire, of which they were a part. They would undoubtedly meet an Australian invasion with stiff Kiwi resistance. An invasion is an evident and present threat to the autonomy and sovereignty of New Zealand, and Kiwis would not go down without a fight.
They would make the invading Australians pay for every inch of New Zealand soil they tried to take. It would be a very bloody and messy affair. New Zealanders would almost certainly resort to guerrilla warfare tactics, which would effectively slow down the invading Australian army.
They have an abundance of natural hiding places – mountains, dense bush, lakes, and rivers – that would allow the Kiwis to ambush the invading Australians and inflict heavy casualties on their forces. An invading force would have to send out large numbers of troops to comb through New Zealand’s hiding places, which would reduce the number of troops available to advance on the Kiwi heartland and take over the country.
Australia Takes Auckland
If the invading Australians seize control of Auckland, they will pose a real threat to the New Zealand government in Wellington. Auckland is just a few hour’s drives from Wellington and is New Zealand’s major port, so controlling Auckland would enable the Australians to land more troops, supplies, and heavy equipment.
That would enable the Australians to push towards Wellington, which would be a tough nut to crack. Wellington is built on a series of hills, which would make it easy to defend. If the Kiwis fell back to Wellington, they could expect a long, drawn-out siege. A siege would likely last months, and the Kiwis would undoubtedly be able to hold out against the invading Australians.
The invading Australians might try to take Wellington by storming the hills, but that would be costly and inflict massive casualties on their troops.
Australia Takes the Rest of the Main Island
If the invading Australians could capture Auckland and the surrounding area, they would be able to transport troops and heavy equipment to other parts of the country. That would enable the Australians to take control of the rest of the New Zealand Main Island.
The New Zealand Main Island is a long, thin strip of land with very few natural barriers to protect it from an invading force. If the Australians could bring in enough troops, they could march on the rest of the island and capture it relatively quickly. The only place that might be able to hold out against the Australians is the southern city of Christchurch, which is built on a hill.
That hill would make it easy to defend against invading forces, but it would also limit the number of troops the Kiwis could hold out with. If the rest of New Zealand fell quickly to the invading Australians, they would likely take control of the country’s major cities. That would allow the Australians to consolidate their control of New Zealand and ensure that the Kiwis don’t try to rise against them again.
The NZDF Leads a Guerrilla War From the Hinterlands
If the invading Australians take control of the rest of the New Zealand mainland, they would almost certainly crack down on any Kiwi resistance. The Australians would try to root out and kill off guerrillas and other Kiwi fighters who opposed them, whether operating in the hinterlands or hiding in the country’s major cities.
That would make New Zealand very dangerous for the Australians, but it would also make it difficult for the Kiwis to liberate the country. That’s because the Kiwis would have to fight in two different wars. On the one hand, they would have to fight a guerrilla war against the Australians in the New Zealand hinterlands.
The invading Australians would almost certainly be able to defend their cities against the Kiwis, particularly if the fighting moves to urban areas. On the other hand, they would have to try to seize control of the major cities from the Australians. That would be a challenging task that would be almost impossible to accomplish.
Australia Calls In the Marines
If the Australians can hold New Zealand tightly in their grasp, they might be tempted to take more aggressive action against the Kiwis. That would almost certainly involve trying to root out and kill off the remaining Kiwi fighters. The Australians might be tempted to use some of their heavier weapons, such as tanks and artillery, to do so.
That would be a mistake because it would cause a lot of collateral damage to civilian property, which would make the Australians look bad in the eyes of the New Zealanders. That would give the Kiwis an opening to stir up anti-Australian sentiment among the local population, which would make it difficult for the Australians to control New Zealand.
That would be an ideal situation for the Kiwis, who would be able to turn the New Zealanders against the Australians. If the Kiwis can stir up anti-Australian sentiment, the Australians might try to suppress it with brute force.
That would give the Kiwis an excuse to go on the offensive, at which point they would bring the full force of the New Zealand Defence Force to bear against the Australians. The NZDF is a powerful fighting force and could hold its own against the Australian military, mainly if the fighting takes place in the New Zealand hinterlands, where the Australians have an advantage.
Australia Could Easily Take Over New Zealand
The invading Australians would undoubtedly have a significant advantage over the New Zealanders. They are a stronger country with better infrastructure, a larger population, and access to more significant resources. There’s no way that the Kiwis could resist the might of the Australians. Australia is a massive country with a population of 24 million.
New Zealand, by comparison, is only home to 4 million people. As a result, the Australians have a much larger economy and significantly more military resources than the Kiwis. The New Zealand Defence Force, while skilled and well-equipped, doesn’t come close to matching the might of the Australian military. The NZDF is much smaller and has significantly fewer resources than the Australians.
New Zealanders Will Be Shipped to Internment Camps
If the Australian government decides to invade New Zealand, it will be motivated by a desire to control the island. That means Australian authorities would probably try to root out and kill off any Kiwi resistance. If the Australians manage to wipe out the Kiwi resistance, they will be faced with a dilemma. They must decide what to do with the New Zealanders who oppose them.
Why Australia Would Want to Invade New Zealand
New Zealand is peaceful and doesn’t pose any military threat to Australia. So why would Australia want to invade New Zealand? Well, the main reasons would be economical and strategic. New Zealand is one of Australia’s closest neighbours, with just two hours travel time by plane. Australia and New Zealand are so close to each other that they are often considered to be one continuous landmass, called the ‘Great Southern Land.’
New Zealand is also strategically significant. We are incredibly close to the Equator, which means that we are in a prime location for receiving satellite radio signals and have some of the most apparent geospatial imagery in the world. So if Australia were to invade New Zealand, the military would have control of a vast area rich in natural resources.
So if Australia were to invade New Zealand, the military would have a massive advantage in monitoring all of the Pacific Ocean, which is a strategic hub for trade and communication between Asia and the Americas.
Rebuilding New Zealand Into a Utopia
If Australia were to invade New Zealand, they would likely try to rebuild New Zealand into a utopia. Australia would promise to lift all New Zealanders out of poverty, give them healthcare, and improve the quality of life for everyone. It is something that they would try to sell to New Zealanders while they were invading.
They would likely be quick to ban the sale of alcohol and cigarettes, and they would probably want to ban the hunting of all native species. They would likely want to put a stop to farming, and they would probably try to shut down all of New Zealand’s coal, gas, and hydroelectric power plants.
Australia would most likely take control of all of New Zealand’s valuable resources and ports, making sure that all of New Zealand’s revenue goes straight into their pockets. They would likely declare that New Zealand is an environmental disaster and try their best to clean it up.
What Would Happen to New Zealanders During and After an Invasion?
New Zealanders would immediately be shocked by an Australian invasion. Most New Zealanders would have no idea that it was coming. If the Australian military were brilliant, they would do everything they could to keep the invasion a secret until it was too late for New Zealanders to do anything about it. It would probably involve dropping agents in New Zealand who would pose as tourists or immigrants while waiting for the rest of the military to arrive.
The military would likely conduct widespread surveillance on New Zealanders, keeping track of everyone’s movements and communications. They would probably maintain a heavy police presence on New Zealand streets, using the presence of authorities to keep the peace while the military moves in. New Zealanders would be offered the opportunity to leave the country, but many would elect to stay and try to rebuild New Zealand after the invasion.
What Would Happen to New Zealand’s Environment During and After an Invasion?
Australia would have a long-term plan to rebuild New Zealand’s environment, but it would also have a short-term plan. In the short term, Australia would likely try to improve New Zealand’s environment by cleaning up the polluted waterways and reducing deforestation.
However, in the long-term, Australia would likely try to transform New Zealand into a place where only certain species of animals and plants could live. Australia would likely move New Zealand’s border farther south to make room for a more tropical environment. They would also likely try to populate New Zealand with Australian species of animals. It would likely involve hunting down New Zealand’s native species and introducing Australian species in their place.
What Would Happen to New Zealand’s Economy?
Australia would likely try to shut down New Zealand’s economy as quickly as possible. They would likely try to buy up as many of New Zealand’s valuable resources as possible and be quick to shut down all of New Zealand’s ports. They would likely shut down New Zealand’s financial systems, and they would probably shut down New Zealand’s airline and air traffic control systems as well.
It would be an uphill battle if New Zealand tried to start its economy again. At the same time, Australia would be doing everything in its power to build up its economy. They would likely be quick to impose tariffs on New Zealand’s agricultural products and New Zealand’s seafood, and they would attempt to seize New Zealand’s valuable trading partners.
What Would Happen to New Zealand’s Native Wildlife and Plants?
Australia would have a long-term plan to decimate New Zealand’s native wildlife and plants. They would likely try to poison New Zealand’s water supply, killing as many native species as possible.
They would likely be quick to introduce invasive species like rabbits, foxes, and feral pigs that thrive in New Zealand’s climate. Australia would also likely try to take control of New Zealand’s forestry, cutting down as many native tree species as possible in favour of Australian plants and trees.
If Australia were to invade New Zealand shortly, New Zealanders would likely suffer several short-term consequences. Many New Zealanders would be killed in the immediate aftermath of the invasion as the Australian military tried to establish control. The rest of New Zealand would be left in a state of fear and uncertainty, unsure of what will happen next.
Many New Zealanders would try to flee the country, but they would likely find it difficult to leave, as the Australian military would likely shut down all of New Zealand’s ports. Many New Zealanders would attempt to hide, but the Australian military would likely use their advanced technology to track down dissenters. It would almost certainly plunge New Zealand into a state of economic depression.
If Australia were to invade New Zealand, it would be tough for New Zealand ever fully to recover. It would likely cripple New Zealand’s economy and decimate its native wildlife and plants. New Zealand’s culture would also be in danger of being lost as Australia tries to push its culture onto New Zealanders. If Australia were to invade New Zealand, it would take years, if not decades, for New Zealand to recover.
The Invasion Plan
The Australian military would likely begin their invasion of New Zealand by dropping agents into New Zealand who would pose as tourists and immigrants. They would likely drop these agents at New Zealand airports, where they would blend in with New Zealanders while waiting for the rest of the military to arrive. The military would likely use a mix of boats, commercial ships, and naval vessels to transport their troops to New Zealand’s shores.
They would likely drop troops in strategic locations, such as ports and airports, and use advanced technology to track down New Zealanders trying to flee the country. The Australian military would likely establish control over New Zealand as quickly as possible and try to keep the invasion as secretive as possible to keep New Zealanders in the dark.
How Long Would the Invading Soldiers Have to Stay?
Australian troops would have to stay in New Zealand for as long as it took to win over the population. The first step in winning New Zealanders over to their side would be to gain control of the media. The Australians would use New Zealand’s media outlets to broadcast their messages. They would try to make New Zealanders distrust their government and the opposition.
The Australians would also try to win over New Zealanders by providing aid in food and medical care. Once the Australians gained control of the media, they would use it to spread pro-Australian propaganda. They would try to shape New Zealanders’ opinions about their government by making the government look untrustworthy and incompetent.
The Australians would also try to make New Zealanders dependent on the Australian military presence. They would try to convince New Zealanders that they could not survive without the Australian military in the country.
When people joke about Australia invading New Zealand, they often try to point out the relationship between the two countries. An Australian invasion of New Zealand would be a disaster for the New Zealand economy and environment, as the Australians would use New Zealand’s resources to support their troops in the country.
An Australian invasion would also be a disaster for New Zealanders, as the Australians would seek to gain control of the media and shape New Zealanders’ opinions about their government. An Australian invasion of New Zealand would be terrible for both countries, but New Zealanders would survive.
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